Ted Nugent’s new book, Ted, White, and Blue was just released, and in my quest for information on the Nuge I came across this op-ed he wrote for the Washington Times last week. Pure awesomeness.

Water, water, everywhere water. Know it, embrace it, manage it or drown. Same goes for cars, trucks, chain saws, knives, crowbars, blowtorches, teakettles and guns. I will not be denied the pragmatic, functional utility of anything based on the inept, clumsy, irresponsible failure of brain-dead, uncoordinated numskulls.

I will not drown; drink and drive; chain-saw massacre anyone; stumble; slice, burn or shoot myself, nor will I ever hold up a bank. So the best advice would be to think, improvise, adapt and overcome, man up, but by all means, leave me alone. You don’t ban electric guitars just because someone may have a lapse in logic, goodwill and decency and spontaneously break out into country and Western music. The vast majority of sensible people will use electric guitars as God intended and whip out good, sexy rock ‘n’ roll licks.

I need my cars, trucks, chain saws, knives, crowbars, blowtorches, scalding-hot water, guitars and guns, thank you. Amazingly, I have mastered them all, and they are all wonderful ingredients for my American dream of rugged individualism, declared independence and self-sufficiency. They all serve me well, and I am not giving up any of them. Ever.

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So why in God’s good name would any human being wish to force unarmed helplessness on another? That level of cruel indecency and forced victimization is incomprehensible to me and about 100 million Americans who own guns and believe in self-defense. The lunatic-fringe left won’t dare touch the issue of gun control. Self-defense is the most powerful, driving instinct in good people everywhere. To deny this is evil personified.

Write this down: Gun-free zones are a felon’s playground. Ban gun-free zones now. Join the NRA.

Good people don’t want the rapist to succeed. We want him dead. We don’t want our homes invaded. We want invaders dead. We don’t like carjackers. We like them dead. We don’t like armed robbers. We like them dead.

We have examined all the evidence we could possibly need to know that calling 911 is a joke unless, of course, the cops bring a dustpan and a mop to clean up the dead monster we just shot while protecting our families.

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