Category Archives: Humor

Whoopi Goldberg Makes Her Case for Dumbest Person on the Planet

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Why anyone watches The View is beyond me. The program is an exhaustive exchange of inanities. What’s worse, real news figures insist on treating the ignoramus hosts seriously. The result: interviews like this one:

Does anyone really care what alleged comedian Whoopi Goldberg thinks? What are her qualifications? O’Reilly’s points are all right on the money, but when you argue with a nut, no one wins.

Goldbeg finds it offensive to say that the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Enough said.

By the way, can someone provide an example of Muslim children being targeted in schools and neighborhoods? Pure pap.

Welfare Office Humor

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Received via email:

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque He marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi.  You know…., I just HATE drawing welfare.  I’d really rather have a job.”

The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent.  We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.  You’ll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

“Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.  You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.

This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20′s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well … You started it.”

PDS Sufferers Latest Scandal: Tea Party Manipulating Dancing with the Stars

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In what is potentially the dumbest Palin controversy ever ginned up by PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome) sufferers (sorry Andrew Sullivan), the media is investigating claims that Tea Party members are flooding the lines on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ to advance Bristol Palin, the eldest daughter of Governor Palin. What the controversy is is beyond me. Isn’t the point of the show for the audience to vote for their favorite dancers?

In this video, one of many that could have been used, ‘respected’ newsman George Stephanopoulos actually dedicated an entire segment of a news program to investigating this ‘controversy’:

You could not make this stuff up. It is beyond absurd that the alleged news media is weaving up a conspiracy about Tea Party voting on a reality(?) TV show. When did Robert Welch start writing the news?

(H/t Hot Air)

Update: This story keeps on getting better. From the Smoking Gun:

Man Shoots TV Over Bristol Palin Dancing

Steven Cowan, 66, allegedly became so enraged by Palin’s success that he actually fired a shotgun round into his television, triggering a 15-hour standoff with Wisconsin cops.

According to a criminal complaint, Cowan’s wife called police Monday evening to report that her husband had blasted the TV and was threatening to kill himself. Cowan, who had been drinking, became angry while watching Palin, 20, perform on the ABC program.

As Palin was dancing, Cowan “jumped up and swore, saying something to the effect of, ‘The fucking politics.’ Steven was upset that a political figure’s daughter was dancing on this particular show when Steven did not think that she was a good dancer,” the complaint notes.

Leftist Nuts Delve into Self-Parody – Again

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Last week some environmentalist cooks released a video that showed the dupes that still believe in the known hoax of global warming blowing up children, and anyone else who dared to disagree with Al Gore’s canon. Almost unbelievably, in a matter of days the Left has managed to outdo themselves. Michelle Obama is on an anti-obesity tour, telling parent how to raise their children. One group that is assisting in the anti-obesity campaign released this ad (courtesy CMR):

According to the Left, serving your child a hamburger is the equivalent of injecting them with heroin. All you can do is laugh, as the Left descends into insanity. One is left to contemplate the parent that sees this ad and takes the message to heart.

However, if we are going to compare things parents do to injecting their children with heroin, and filling them up with “junk” how about remaking this advertisement, but replace the hamburger with school?

Headlines You May Have Missed

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In trying to find a weird news story for the next episode of Strictly Right Radio, I realized that there were way too many this past week that I had to share. So, enjoy:

Airlines grounds overweight staff: paper (Reuters)

Turkish Airlines has grounded 28 flight attendants for being overweight and given them six months to slim down or face reassignment, a newspaper said on Saturday.

Ancient sex guide pubished as audio book (Reuters)

Too shy to read the Kama Sutra on the train during rush hour? Just take out your headphones.

The ancient sex guide dating back 1,600 years has been published as an audio book for the first time in its long history in what its British-based publisher described as a “perfect meeting of ancient history and modernity.”

“Now there’s no need to feel embarrassed by reading a copy of this wonderful and important book in public — simply download it on to your mp3 player and liven up your commute to work,” said Simon Petherick, managing director of Beautiful Books.

Paris Hilton sued for bad hair days (US Magazine)

Paris Hilton was sued Wednesday by a hair extension company that claims she breached their contract with them by wearing a competitor’s fake hair.

Hairtech International Inc. is seeking $35 million in damages, which is 10 times what she was paid under her contract, according to the AP. The fraud and breach-of-contract suit also cites Hilton’s partying for going against its marketing campaign.

Hairtech is also annoyed Hilton, 29, missed the line’s 2007 launch party because she was serving 23 days in jail for driving twice on a suspended license while on probation for reckless driving. The company says it lost $6.6 million on Hilton’s absence from the fete.

French police drop minimum height (Guardian)

A new decree has abolished the 1.6m (5ft 3in) minimum height for recruits to the French police force, the Police Nationale, declaring the selection of candidates on such criteria as “no longer justified”.

Customs officers and prison guards have also been told they no longer have to measure up to a minimum height.

[...]

Customs officers will no longer have to prove they have “full use of their upper and lower limbs“, or boast an “elocution and pronunciation allowing their words to be normally understood“.