Strictly Right

The story of a perennial halfwit huckster who almost had it all, until he was exposed as…. a typical Democrat. Yes, it is happening. According to Maurren Dowd, Aaron Sorkin, the man who made the paean to Bill Clinton, The American President, has purchased the rights to Andrew Young’s The Politician. My working title is Ladies Man II.

This production may be a ways off, but it is worth guessing, who will play pretty-boy Edwards? It will have to be a vapid, self absorbed liberal twit. Okay, maybe that wont be hard to find in Hollywood.

One can hardly wait for the scene in the movie where Edwards explains his harebrained scheme to Andrew Young.

Edwards: Andrew, I have to make a story dissapeaer.

Young: What can I do?

Edwards: Remember that Hunter gal? I might have knocked her up.

Young: Might have?

Edwards: Okay, I did.

Young: How many times did I tell you to get rid of her?

Edwards: I know, I know. But I have a plan.

Young: Yes…

Edwards: You claim that you fathered my child, take Riele and my son with your family, and disappear for a bit. Trust me, I know the media wont be interested. The story will last one day, I promise. (*actual Edwards claim)

Young: How am I supposed to tell my wife about this, then have her come and hide with me and my alleged mistress and child?

Edwards: Andrew, I thought you were dedicated to the cause. I thought you were a true believer. Andrew, this is bigger than any one of us. (*actual Edwards quote)

Young: Okay John, but only this one time.

If this movie is done properly, it could be one of the funniest movies of the year. Imagine a series of Edwards moralizing speeches, where he is mister holier-than-thou, juxtaposed with him getting drunk in North Carolina bars and hitting on every woman that walks by him. How about the scene where he thinks it a good idea to videotape his indiscretions? In fact, the most difficult part of making this film will be avoiding an NC-17 rating.

Here’s a question Sorkin ought to consider: which America will see the Edwards movie?

Sadly, knowing Sorkin, the move might be called The Family Man and end with Kerry and Edwards winning the 2004 election.

Tags: John Edwards