Strictly Right

Today marks a historic day in America. Not long after President Barack Obama signed into effect the biggest government takeover of the economy in the history of the United States, it seems that the unconstitutional act of Congress is being repealed today. In a joint press release from the offices of Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, two historic supporters of Obama’s plans for healthcare reform, said:

The plan for health care reform was initially something that the Democratic Party had long been campaigning for as a way to ensure that the American people were well-protected. As time went on, it became apparent that this reform was not in the will of the American people at all. However, in pure stubbornness, this administration persisted in pushing the legislation forward.

At a press conference, Nancy Pelosi had a different take on the matter, however:

I don’t really believe that any one person was responsible for this. I said from the start that Americans would only be able to find out what’s in the bill if it passed. And while I was initially skeptical, Barry [Soetoro] made it quite clear that Botox procedures would be covered. It was a no-brainer at that point.

While these statements from Reid and Pelosi are in and of themselves incredible, nothing comes close to the iconic moment in history created when all Members of Congress and their staff (with the exception of Barney Frank and a young page) showed up at a rally with a petition to impeach Obama for a new subsection of the constitution called “Impeachment by Stupidity,” citing that the Stalinist approach to American governance was a trial project, and has failed miserably.

Barack Obama was unavailable for comment, though in an email from White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, Strictly Right received the following comment:

Andrew, this is nothing more than 8 years of the Bush administration’s bad policies catching up on the American people. President Obama is not worried, though he’s hoping for change.

P.S. Meet me in the Congressional shower in 20 minutes?

Tags: April Fools, Barack Obama, Barney Frank, Communism, Democratic Party, Harry Reid, Health Care Reform, Healthcare, History, Nancy Pelosi, Obamacare, Republican Party, Socialism