Nearly a year ago I had a complaint with the Canadian Human Rights Commission filed against me for using Barack Hussein Obama’s middle name (oops, I did it again). When the complaint was filed, I was quite taken aback, and admittedly quite scared about the direction of things. Over the next several months though, I realized that life lacks a certain essence of humour when you don’t have those ridiculous kangaroo courts to deal with. So, I figured I needed to begin a quest to find a winnable complaint to file with the CHRC. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
- Against my next door neighbour for being white
- Against myself for being Christian
- Against my other next door neighbour for putting up Christmas lights already, he’s being insensitive to Muslims clearly
- Against my high school physics teacher for only giving the Muslim in my class a 60%
- Against my old boss for making me wash my hands before serving food
Any more suggestions?
Against me for being male and confident in my gender identity.
Against my neighbor for operating his leaf-blower on Friday. Muslim prayers, and all. And Saturday. The Sabbath. Sunday's okay, though.
Against my boss for firing my previous co-worker. Laziness is a disability, didn't you know?
Haha, that's the spirit!