Possible Human Rights Complaints
Written by: Andrew Lawton
Category: Humor
Nearly a year ago I had a complaint with the Canadian Human Rights Commission filed against me for using Barack Hussein Obama’s middle name (oops, I did it again). When the complaint was filed, I was quite taken aback, and admittedly quite scared about the direction of things. Over the next several months though, I realized that life lacks a certain essence of humour when you don’t have those ridiculous kangaroo courts to deal with. So, I figured I needed to begin a quest to find a winnable complaint to file with the CHRC. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
- Against my next door neighbour for being white
- Against myself for being Christian
- Against my other next door neighbour for putting up Christmas lights already, he’s being insensitive to Muslims clearly
- Against my high school physics teacher for only giving the Muslim in my class a 60%
- Against my old boss for making me wash my hands before serving food
Any more suggestions?
November 13th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Against me for being male and confident in my gender identity.
Against my neighbor for operating his leaf-blower on Friday. Muslim prayers, and all. And Saturday. The Sabbath. Sunday's okay, though.
Against my boss for firing my previous co-worker. Laziness is a disability, didn't you know?
November 13th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Haha, that's the spirit!